Wednesday 8 January 2014

#LifeIsReborn Osmosis from bloke to Father!

Heya People!

I was approached by Johnson & Johnson who were looking for bloggers to talk about having children from the perspectives of other family members, be it brothers, grandparents and dads to tie in with a new campaign, called Life Is Reborn featuring the family as a whole. I like the idea of family (even if ours is as strange as the Addams Family) and more importantly think it's a good topic so I've jumped on board with this one.

Most of us have heard of Johnson & Johnson, after all it's a company that's been by the side of parents for over 100 years. In an ever changing world it's pretty cool to me for a company to be standing proud to tell the world there here to make things easier through their products. I'm not just saying that as they've approached me but say it as my Daughters from a young age used products from Johnson & Johnson and they always worked well and with my older daughters eczema. this is why I am happy to talk about their products.

I was going to jump into the questions , but thought it would be better to give an insight on how this strange bloke became a Father,

When I met my partner over 9  years ago, having children was not even a thought that had crossed my mind, I'd been misinformed in the past that I was probably sterile. But on meeting my partner all those years back when she told me she had a son it was weird. I said outright if he does not like me straight away I would not go much further as it's unfair on both mother and son for me to come and slap a potentially huge wedge between mother and son.
Although all was well we got on well, really well as. the years rolled by and he called me Dad, a word I was not expecting, this to me was one of the most amazing yet scary moments in my life. If he was happy to declare me his dad I was happy to call him my Son. For me it was a defining moment in my life. I'd been thinking more about the idea of having a family since being with my partner, I suppose that was the beginning of a new turn on my life without turning the page. As essentially I'd already taken the role of a father without realising what that role meant.
It was the moment I stopped being a childish 20something and stepped up to the role, I hope it didn't make me a bore or grump but it probably did, but we learn things every day and that's all that's important is be it good or bad we take those moments on the chin.

Eventually we decided it was time to try for a baby or two I'll not talk about that here in this post as I'm trying my hardest to keep this positive but I've discussed it in depth on Dadzclub and after a few bumps in the road we have three awesome children. Which brings me to the questions Johnson and Johnson asked me.

They asked if the way I saw my partner changed at all while having children. And how everything felt from my point of view. Well let us begin.

Originally I would not have thought about pregnancy, despite being told TheJess's first pregnancy nearly ended in tragedy for both mother and son it was only when we decided to try to have a child together this huge worry set in, with all the trouble we'd had to keep a pregnancy to stick we were both nervous wrecks, It could have pulled us apart, but it showed my partner in a new light, to know she was carrying our child inside her was as amazing to me as I could imagine an explorer would feel on finding Atlantis. It was monumentally amazing. And moreso to feel our little child say hello by kicks, or sharktailing so we can see it.

Both girls tried to escape multiple times, and they made sure we knew they were stubbornly not going anywhere from false labour to actual labour with no progression. Oh boy they made sure we knew it. It was a beautifully scary thing to watch and experience, but at the same time it was one of the most amazing points of my life.

One piece of advice I can give to parents who are struggling to conceive or going through the heartbreak of miscarriage is to remember the pain hurts and the thoughts will always be with you but when a stubborn child arrives, they'll come fighting and they'll never stop fighting to show you how great you are. Never give up.

Now for me being a dad before having more children was purely by osmosis. We got on and fit well like a missing jigsaw piece, I'm sure it does not always work like this. But to become a parent was strange, my life used to revolve around making money to play with computers, when I met my partner that changed and I sold nearly all of my tech gear on bar an old laptop and a couple of pc's and tried to make my somewhat shabby but home studio flat into a liveable place that was child safe for the times we planned things there.

I feel becoming a parent probably stopped me being an idiot, calmed me down a tonne despite still being a grumpy old sod but changed me for the better. As my parents are not with us I missed a lot of life lessons parents should probably give to their children. I only hope I'm doing a good job as it certainly feels at time's that I'm not. But only time will tell if I did well. But after watching the #LifeIsReborn advert I suppose the reborn one here was me really, from idiot to parent with L plates to dad of three.

Please, tell me if you think becoming a parent changed you for the better or the worst? There are no wrong responses. It would be fab to hear other opinions. I'll be happy to link other blogposts here too.


For disclosure purposes I've got to tell you that In exchange for the post I'm being sent some goodies from Johnson & Johnson. those goodies are being given to a friend who's expecting soon. 

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