Thursday 9 February 2012

Going through miscarriage? YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

This post is a direct response to my original posting on DadzClub.

And first and foremost I'm not a counsellor. I'm just a bloke with a belly who's gone through miscarriage 4 times in the past. Mileage with my post could vary, as your experiences will also.

I originally wrote the post not thinking it would affect anyone. How wrong was I.

I've been approached by people on twitter, which I had originally mentioned on the post, PM'd on YouTube and my personal email inbox. (wow)

I never thought one post would have such an impact on the community in it's current form, showing that men are in some cases left with little support in such traumatic situations. I understand how this happens but our tough(sic) exterior does not always show what's going on inside.....

I won't lie I think about my four angels and it hurts a damned lot at times, mostly it's happy thoughts, knowing I can look in the sky, happy they are playing with my parents up in the stars, at night I see their 4 stars, brighter than any star ever to show itself off to the world.

Other times it's an emotional train wreck. Similar to the mess my mind drags me into when thinking of my parents. With time pain does die down, but will stay with you. Those little things in life will remind you about it, and you'll cry. Don't fight it. It's OK.

Guys and girls out there If you came looking for advice I'll share some. And it'll be short and sweet (I will keep updating this. I promise)

  • You or your partner are not a let down of failure to each other, yourselves or your families. I promise you this now.
  • It'll stop hurting, I can't say when, but it will do.
  • Be there for each other, it'll make you stronger.
  • Don't judge yourself or your partner this is one of the best things I can advise
  • if talking to a stranger helps @hooker1uk or
  • You are not alone. #TwitterHoldsYourHand #Notalone365 will be there to help you too.

I know I’m not the best person in the world to help all the time, as I’m a walking contradiction at times with my own emotions.(I’ve cried 10-15 times in writing this) But I'll always try my best to help without prejudice or judgement for anyone, regardless of who they are when going through miscarriage.

To my angels.

I love you, I know you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a star. But why In somebody else's sky? Keep the 'rents smiling for me. :D

This image I created a while back says it better than I can. 

listen to this before commenting or going for a stiff drink, it works well while thinking about miscarriage, my partner and being their for her.

Stay strong,
Stay safe
Keep smiling


  1. Thanks for sharing - the more people share the more understanding there is out there.

    I blogged about my experiences last year

    I've since had another 2, one only last month and sharing does help


  2. It's good that Dad's feel able to talk about miscarriage here :)