A New Start

Today has been a pivotal point in my working life.
I'm now unemployed on capability grounds, because I can only carry 10kg in a repetitive work position. It's taken close to three years to get here. But I'm happy We've come to an agreement none the less.

While cycling home (there is another blog post there, trust me) I had that dangerous process of thoughts popping through my head.

• What does this mean for me now?
• Who will take me on when I can barely carry a thing?
• Am I really a jobless bum?
• Why did I wear these smart but tight jeans while cycling? 
• Damn that truck driver is being nice... Oh wait..(cuts up)... funge!
  Why didn't I install the bike cam today?

I'm thinking over a few plans, but I have to work out what would be a viable plan for me to take. After all It's not just me I have to think about, there's the three kids and my disable partner (love you lady) who I have to try my best to continue to support in the best ways possible. And in the middle of this I have to find a form of income which will not take the Care i provide to my partner or penalise her financially in the eyes of the DWP.

Now back to reality I know one thing for sure I have to look into now. What do do with myself!

I will admit I do have an idea for a business but I'm fearful it'll never take off. Computer repair. I'm already qualified in many technologies from the 80's AT/XT based machines to today's modern beasts. This makes the prospect look good, (also the fad/huge saturation of pc repair services has moved to cupcakes and foodstuffs. Tasty but puts another business idea out the window for now) We'll have to see what buisness link say to me when I sit down with them soon.

While writing this post something hit me.... I've stupidly forgotten about how this affected my own mental health.

Finding some part time work to get me back into the swing of things, being off for such a long time has thrown me out. I'm becoming lazy (some of that is painkillers reactions) grumpy, depressed, Anti social and can't be arsed to blog.  In short it's turned me into a bit of a twunt. Until today I'd not thought about how this could be one of the root causes to many little issues. And I'm shocked to say it's fits in like the last piece of a puzzle, or the square peg in the square hole.

Some of this probably stems from How I'm proud of the work I've done in my life. With exception of this and a six week stint when I lost the management role in a pub when younger. I've worked since the age of 14, far from work shy as some have assumed me to be in the past.

Have you been in this position before?
Am I the only one thinking like this?
Please drop me a comment below.

Paul 

P.S. Props to Kay at ACAS and I wish nothing but good luck to Pete, Dave and everyone at my previous job. Many a laughs shared with you all, even when me and Keith were arguing over silly things. I wish you all the best in the future.