Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Guest Post: When school's get it wrong

This one was shared by one of my close friends. This person has asked to remain anonymous so I will respect their wishes.
I remember taking with this person last year about this, and I'm so happy they have offered to share there story.
Paul


I will tell the story of my eldest, he was 9 when it started, 2 boys began to target him in class small things to start with such as mocking his 'moustache' (my child is mixed race...the 2 bully's..black), soon his height/'size became a favourite taunt but by age 10 there was physical pushing, kicking, black eyes and even a lump of hair cut from his head with scissors during lessons.

Many times i complained to the head teacher, each occasion promised the bully's would be dealt with, however this only ever amounted in contact of guardians and detentions. the 2 bully's were not just targeting my child but many others and physically assaulting staff also (one retired from the stress and trauma caused by the 2 boys) i kept asking that the bully's should be removed but was told that the 'head' did not have that authority...then.... one day my child refused to attend school and said they wished they was dead! instantly i removed him from school and sent him on a holiday promising to sort it all, i telephoned parent line and thank goodness i did! i told my story and was informed how the head had mislead me, they DO have the power to exclude a bully and refuse their return, also i learnt that due to being 10 yrs of age i could press charges as actual assaults had occurred, on top of that i was advised on who and how to officially complain to regarding the schools lack of ability to resolve the bullying for such a long period.
I then wrote a long letter of complaint against the head, the school policy's and the bully's then contacted the police, made an official complaint and attended the school with an officer who stood beside me to inform the head that the bully's are likely to be arrested and charged should another incident occur.
Most suddenly after this event the school created a special 'focus group' for troublesome children, in which the 2 bully's were placed along with a small handful of others and there they remain to this day having lessons separate from the rest of the school and privileges such as swimming and school trips only awarded according to their behaviour record.

As a parent i was expected to believe that young kids can get away with the slow torture of others and that a '''''bad home life''''' was to be accepted as an excuse and allowance for such behaviour.my actual words to the head upon that revelation was '''if their home life is so terrible then why are you not helping them escape it'''???? i had to fight long and hard and get clued up on all the laws.rules and policy's, but it was worth it. i stamped out the bullying for all affected by the 2 offenders and my most memorable moment of all of it was when my child came home from school smiling again

3 comments:

  1. oh goodness, that is the kind of experience that make parents feel sick to the stomach with dread. So glad to hear there was a good outcome and school became a happy place again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well done for sorting it out. As a parent, its worrying when you child comes home and complains another child or children are doing whatever to them.
    We have always brought our daughter up to not hit people, but one day, I got so sick of reports of hearing different children in her class were either kicking her, or poking her hard etc etc, I told her to do it back, and I told the headmaster that, who in return told me off and told me, she could be excluded for doing stuff like that. This is after I had told him on a good few occasions about things that happen. Yes, he says he will sort it, and then calls the child, whoever it is at the time, to his office. But that's it. One boy ( whose mother actually works at the school ), has been in so much bother I don't know how he is still there and also cannot see him finishing his schooling career without being excluded or suspended at some point.
    I gets so frustrating at time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well done for sorting it out. As a parent, its worrying when you child comes home and complains another child or children are doing whatever to them.
    We have always brought our daughter up to not hit people, but one day, I got so sick of reports of hearing different children in her class were either kicking her, or poking her hard etc etc, I told her to do it back, and I told the headmaster that, who in return told me off and told me, she could be excluded for doing stuff like that. This is after I had told him on a good few occasions about things that happen. Yes, he says he will sort it, and then calls the child, whoever it is at the time, to his office. But that's it. One boy ( whose mother actually works at the school ), has been in so much bother I don't know how he is still there and also cannot see him finishing his schooling career without being excluded or suspended at some point.
    I gets so frustrating at time.

    ReplyDelete